For now

OK. So I don't know what's going to stream out of my consciousness, but here it goes. My beloved Grandpa, the last of his generation among my grandparents to pass, still seems alive for me. I guess I didn't get to see his coffin go into the ground, and so I'M still in disbelief, but I "know" he is gone in the physical sense.

I've been so busy these last few weeks, trying to accomplish all I am required of at worl, grieve over my grandpa's death and deal with circumstances like my daughter getting a sudden cold and such. Starting next WEDNESDAY, I can begin to relax as the class load is winding down three-fold to two a day, depending on my set alternating schedule. End of the year reaches a pinnacle with the school party this Emperor's Birthday (Dec. 23) and hopefully my mother-in-law can visit us again for the New Year's celebration. She is recovering from a broken rib and her age of nearly 80 years old makes healing that much more of a slower process. And my Mom is doing well half way across the Pacific Ocean, though we can't all be together another year. Two more years. Two more.

It's icy cold, near or below freezing temperatures. This morning on the ride to school, my feet were very cold. Riding a bike is not the ideal in winter, but at least it doesn't snow in these parts. And somehow I maintain my decent physical shape (relative to what I might be back in the States without all of the nutritional benefits and advantageous opportunities I have here in Japan). Katsumi is the reason I'm doing so well healthwise, though I need to do a regular exercise routine to tighten up again.

Focus. Heal your wounds. Find comfort in the family. True friends also are there to support. These are reverberating mantras that fuel me, along with the "jukebox" BGM that plays over and over in the back of my mind as I flow through all of this. Bruno Mars is topping the list with "Grenade" and "It wil rain."