Who will I become?

Considering your life as a sharp turning point drops you on your butt and holds a big mirror up for you to see what you've become can be a time for illumination. It can also be a time for complete honesty with yourself as well. Honesty about who you want to become in terms of what you've been doing so far in "getting there." What mental obstacles do you let get in the way? What emotional barriers hold you back? What kinds of patterns do you have to regulate in yourself in order to reach your goals?

I'm reading a book about philosophy and taking care of a wolf called "The Philosopher and the Wolf." In it, the author, Mark Rowlands, says that humans are basically scheming simians or apes watching others in order to find the opportunity to take advantage of the situation. Wolves in their packs, on the other hand, are built on a network of trust and loyalty. You can't convince a wolf to the just terms of a contract because a contract is based on the agreed upon fairness between simians who otherwise would rob each other blind if they had the chance. Wolves protect their own because of loyalty, not words or agreements in kind. Human beings sacrifice some things in order to get other things in return.

So, how has this book caused my thinking to change? Well, I believe some of the concepts Mr. Rowlands is addressing are dead on true. However, I am maybe a bit naively hopefully that all human have more than just this scheming capacity. Also, I think that the older parts of our spirits that come from the same awareness, the same source as the wolf, can and do occasionally return to reclaim our collective sanity and cause us to do the right thing BECAUSE it is right, not because it is profitable. The natural state of things always balances things out, one way or the other, and we human are by no means excluded from this cycle. Whether we admit it or not, we are limited to what we can do simply because we're always looking to get something out of it.

If we strive for that higher good, by consequence we'll elevate our status to near the prowess and natural composure of the wolf. In Native American stories, the wolf is always a very cunning and naturally intelligent individual who is usually the main orchestrator of the narrative in which he appears. Yet, he doesn't cling to this temporary power because he knows, intuitively, maybe even instinctually, the powers that be must pass from one aware individual to another. We are not to know or even start to comprehend how or why this passing of power occurs, only that, as the wolf, it certainly does pass and when it's our turn to wield it, we'd better get it right.

So, I strive to be a wolf, or better, an eagle. But what does that mean? And what kind of honesty am I really sharing here if not the messages of my ancient spirit to its much younger and immature mind. This blog is for me to read and re-read so as to signpost where my thoughts were at a certain point in time. Or is it more a way to see the image after connecting all of these dots? Only the infinite source can be sure.